Apr 28, 2018
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Today and over the next couple of episodes, I want to share with you what my first 3 months of self employment were REALLY like. Because as awesome as it is, it also has its ups and downs! so if you’re thinking about starting your own business so that you can quit your day job, I just want you to be mentally prepared!
Have you ever done one of those “perfect day” exercises?
You know, the kind where you imagine what your perfect day looks like from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed at night?
When I first started my side hustle and I was just super stressed and all over the place, I would dream about that perfect day that I had designed for when I was free of my day job.
And it kept me going – it pushed me through those hard times. I imagined that I would naturally wake up around 6am and immediately work out.
Maybe I’d even go back to Crossfit since I quit going when I started my business!Then I’d make some coffee, have a healthy breakfast, and spend some time journaling.
Then I’d jump in the shower and get ready for the day.
By 9am, I’d be at my desk working, and then around noon I’d take my dog for a walk, come home, prepare a healthy lunch, and then work for another few hours.
Around 5pm, I’d close my laptop for the day, head downstairs to start dinner, and then spend the rest of the evening hanging out with my husband.
The day would be totally calm, I wouldn’t feel stressed, and everything would be totally organized and running like clockwork. I’d be feeling amazing, sleeping great, and I’d be finally losing that extra 30 pounds that I’ve been talking about losing for the past 25 years.
On December 29th (my last day at my day job), I thought, “This is it! This is the last day of the stress. The chaos. The last day of having no time to work out or eat healthily. The last day of hustling and grinding. The last day of not being in control of my time and my schedule!!!”
What I didn’t realize is that all of those feelings were choices I was making.
And it wasn’t just going to suddenly change because I didn’t have to go back into the office on January 2.
Don’t get me wrong, these past three months have been amazing. Most days I don’t have to be anywhere. I have access to great coffee. I can wear yoga pants all day. I get to snuggle with my puppy any time. I have natural light in my office. It’s quiet. I love the work I’m doing. I’m not interrupted all day long. I don’t have to sit in rush hour traffic. Many days look like my perfect day, and I’m super grateful for it.
BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT FEELING OF CHAOS, DISORGANIZATION, AND STRESS JUST DIDN’T DISAPPEAR ON MY FIRST DAY OF SELF-EMPLOYMENT.
Especially not in January, certainly not in February. I didn’t start to feel like I really hit my stride until the last week of March. And after taking some time to reflect on the past three months and why this last week of March has felt so – I don’t know… different – here are four reasons why I think life didn’t just magically change the day I became self-employed.
I’M USED TO OPERATING IN CHAOS AND STRESS.
I’m always in reaction mode.
And that voice in my head says things like,“I have to” or “I need to” or “I gotta.”When I say things like that to myself, it creates urgency and stress. It removes my choices.
And it makes it feel like everything needs to be done all at once. I’ve conditioned my mind to believe that I don’t have a choice, so even when I’m aware that I do have a choice, it still uses that urgent, stressful language and I go into reaction mode.
And guess what? I’ve always had a choice.
My day job never held me back from anything I wanted. I held me back from what I wanted. And I know that I had to go on this journey of building my business to discover that I actually have the power to create anything I want in my life.
So I’m starting to notice all the “have-to’s” and changing what I’m saying to myself. “No, you don’t have to. You get to decide if you want to, and if you do, then you get to choose when you do it.”
And in order to make the choice and have it not feel stressful, I needed to have a plan. But… I HADN’T MASTERED PLANNING – and tomorrow, I’m going to share with you what I learned to help me with that.